Introspection is badly needed on the blogosphere. All too often bloggers regurgitate stories that were previously thoroughly dissected by prominent bloggers such as
Michelle Malkin. I am the first to admit that I'm horribly guilty of this. I feel the need to comment on a variety of prominent articles and make my views known. In that process, I forget that I need to delve a little deeper and discuss things that are on my mind.
My mind has been quite unsettled lately as I've been dealing with some fundamental issues in my life. For example, at age 27, I'm trying to determine what I want to do with the rest of it. That is a big question. As I've mentioned several times since the inception of this blog nearly three years ago, everything is in place in my life the way I would like with the exception of my career (incidentally I have a weight issue that I need to resolve too, but having confidence in a career would go a long to rectify that issue). Frankly, I have an educational background that doesn't mesh well with the current economic climate of where I want to spend the rest of my life. When I made my decisions concerning my career, I didn't plan on having the opportunity to move to Bay City, Michigan so soon. While I've wanted to live in Bay City since childhood, it was more of a long range plan.
So what did compel me to move back so soon? It is certainly my family and other personal relationships. Brian is from Bay City and his entire family is here. My Grandpa Buttrick was very sick at the time, and I couldn't stand the thought of him passing away while I lived so far away. The last two years of his life provided me with the opportunity to get to know him better (the silver lining of being unemployed during that time), and for that, I'll always be grateful. My Grandmas are still very much vibrant women whom I love dearly. I've had the opportunity to get to know them better during this time too.
Right now, I'm right back where I started from. I need to carve out a space for myself here. As I've become reacquainted with the area, my childhood friends, etc., it has become painfully clear to me that I need to work to find myself a niche here. I tried once and failed, but I still know that I'm needed somewhere in this community. Sometimes it just feels as though I'm up against insurmountable odds. I truly love and care about this community and the state of Michigan.
Am I crazy to face such hardship just to live in this area? Sometimes it feels like it, but then I spend a nice evening at home with Brian and Sparty or a nice day with my Grandmas. At those times, it all seems worth it. People and relationships are so much more important to me than money. I'm not out to make a lot of money; I simply want to take care of my own expenses.
You can read the article that inspired this introspection (by
Bob Younce)
here.
Lindsey
Labels: Bay City, blogging, family, Michigan, writing
