Lunch with Grandma - Again

Long time readers may know that I often go out to lunch with my Grandma and/or head north to Standish to see both of my Grandmothers. The Grandma with whom I lunch is one of the most important people in my life. It isn't that I don't have a great relationship with my other Grandmother - I do, and we have rituals of our own. It is simply that my Dad's Mom and I have such history.

When I was in preschool, she would often pick me from school and take me with her on the road. For nearly 40 years she sold women's clothes door-to-door. Well, not really door-to-door. She had repeat customers upon repeat customers. Often, her customers would be the wives and daughters of farmers and small business owners. It was always an adventure to go with her to see her customers. It wasn't that my parents even needed someone to pick me up from preschool or a babysitter. She wanted to be with me and I loved being with her; I still do.

Add the fact that she and my Grandpa (my Dad's step-Dad; my Dad's Father passed away in his 40s) spent nearly everyday during the summer working at my parent's business, and it becomes apparent why I was always so close to them. During my high school years, I spent hours upon hours during the summer working with my Grandma. Many times when I would spend the night at her house, my Grandpa would have long since gone to bed. He'd always leave a note for us and often called us "his gypsies." It was true too. She was always going somewhere and I was never too far behind. In the years since he passed away, I've missed him terribly, and I know that my Grandma does too.

There are times during my lunches with my Grandma when I get a glimpse of the active, busy woman I have known most of my life. Truth be told, she is still very active at age 83. That said, she has slowed considerably in the last five years or so. For example, I thought that she would be in a great mood yesterday. She just had had a very full weekend of company and a family wedding, among other social engagements. Unfortunately, she just seemed lonely and tired. Then again, I suppose I would be too if I lived on my own at 83, spent the weekend entertaining family and friends, and then had an empty house at the end of it all.

During my childhood and well into my college years, it seemed as though she'd entertain various members of her family (she comes from a very large Ukrainian farm family) every other weekend during the summer. As a result, I got to know my Dad's extended family very well. I imagine that she misses it now that great nieces and nephews have moved away and started families of their own.

Despite my worries about her health and the inevitable, I deeply cherish the time we spend together. I might just have to write down some of those unforgettable conversations, many of which have taken place this past summer.

All in all, I'm glad that I will get to see her quite a bit next week.

Much more later, as always.

Lindsey

The Sensitive In-Law Post - Politics

Most readers know that my little sister is getting married this fall. In addition, Brian and I have been in a serious relationship for over four years now (yes, we eventually do plan to get married). Of course, this all means that my sister and I have had to deal with the inevitable prospective in-law issues. Some of the issues are quite funny while others hint at larger issues in society. It has never been easy to combine families and adjust to the family dynamics of a significant other. In some instances, my sister and I are finding out that we come from quite an extraordinary family in the sense that our parents allowed us much more freedom than many of the parents of our peers. We certainly do not have helicopter parents.

Before I go any further, I just want to say that this is written in good humor. If anyone mentioned here happens to come across this post, I mean no harm. I simply want to share some very personal experiences of mine.

Where do I start? Well, Brian's parents are great. I truly enjoy their company. As Brian and I live approximately a mile from their house, we have dinner at their house a few times a week, every week. For the most part, this allows us to catch up with Brian's brother Todd and Todd's girlfriend Rachel (Todd is a commuting college student living at home). While we don't discuss politics much with Rachel (she's not that interested and only 16), the rest of us get into the middle of it. Here is where the confusion comes in.

In Michigan, as in many union states, there is a general bias towards Democrats that truly is out of touch with the reality of today's Democratic Party. For the sake of argument, I will call this group Blue Collar Democrats. The average Blue Collar Democrat owns his or her own home, has two or three children, works a union job, tends to be Catholic (and is still married, or annulled the first marriage and remarried), and is more or less socially conservative. They tend to support the Democratic Party not out of a blind loyalty to unions, but due to a deep sense of tradition. From my perspective, some Blue Collar Democrats appear to believe that it is almost un-American not to support the Democratic Party (again, this certainly doesn't reflect the current Democratic Party which is turning anti-American).

I grew up in a small town that was predominantly populated by Blue Collar Democrats. The irony here is that for all intents and purposes, Brian's family (especially his Dad) fits the profile of Blue Collar Democrats perfectly. In fact, my parents pretty much assumed that his parents were Democrats, despite the fact that Brian and his brother are very conservative. Well, when you actually talk politics with Brian and Todd's parents, you find a general disdain for politicians in general (which is certainly to be expected). In addition, they tend to be conservative on most issues, and while they might occasionally support a Democrat, it is the exception, not the norm.

As a result of Brian's parents not following the Blue Collar Democrat script, I've found myself having some very interesting political conversations with my own family. No matter how you look at it, after getting past the stereotypes, it is easy to see how Brian and Todd formed their political views. I don't always agree, but I find myself agreeing more often than not.

This entire experience helps illustrate something I had a hard time understanding as a child. Growing up, I often heard my Mom lament that many Blue Collar Democrats didn't fully understand just how much they think like conservatives. I now understand. Why should Blue Collar Democrats vote for a party that is working against families, against religion, and against just about everything most Blue Collar Democrats hold dear? I didn't even mention the growing anti-Americanism and self-loathing taking over the Democratic Party (case in point, Obama, who last week alienated the very people he needs to win the nomination and election with elitist comments). I'm just glad that Brian's parents get it. My Grandma doesn't, but then again, she doesn't vote.

I'll cover religion in the next post.

Lindsey

A Little Introspection...

Introspection is badly needed on the blogosphere. All too often bloggers regurgitate stories that were previously thoroughly dissected by prominent bloggers such as Michelle Malkin. I am the first to admit that I'm horribly guilty of this. I feel the need to comment on a variety of prominent articles and make my views known. In that process, I forget that I need to delve a little deeper and discuss things that are on my mind.

My mind has been quite unsettled lately as I've been dealing with some fundamental issues in my life. For example, at age 27, I'm trying to determine what I want to do with the rest of it. That is a big question. As I've mentioned several times since the inception of this blog nearly three years ago, everything is in place in my life the way I would like with the exception of my career (incidentally I have a weight issue that I need to resolve too, but having confidence in a career would go a long to rectify that issue). Frankly, I have an educational background that doesn't mesh well with the current economic climate of where I want to spend the rest of my life. When I made my decisions concerning my career, I didn't plan on having the opportunity to move to Bay City, Michigan so soon. While I've wanted to live in Bay City since childhood, it was more of a long range plan.

So what did compel me to move back so soon? It is certainly my family and other personal relationships. Brian is from Bay City and his entire family is here. My Grandpa Buttrick was very sick at the time, and I couldn't stand the thought of him passing away while I lived so far away. The last two years of his life provided me with the opportunity to get to know him better (the silver lining of being unemployed during that time), and for that, I'll always be grateful. My Grandmas are still very much vibrant women whom I love dearly. I've had the opportunity to get to know them better during this time too.

Right now, I'm right back where I started from. I need to carve out a space for myself here. As I've become reacquainted with the area, my childhood friends, etc., it has become painfully clear to me that I need to work to find myself a niche here. I tried once and failed, but I still know that I'm needed somewhere in this community. Sometimes it just feels as though I'm up against insurmountable odds. I truly love and care about this community and the state of Michigan.

Am I crazy to face such hardship just to live in this area? Sometimes it feels like it, but then I spend a nice evening at home with Brian and Sparty or a nice day with my Grandmas. At those times, it all seems worth it. People and relationships are so much more important to me than money. I'm not out to make a lot of money; I simply want to take care of my own expenses.

You can read the article that inspired this introspection (by Bob Younce) here.

Lindsey

What A Day...

Today was a mixture of frustration, boredom, entertainment, and pride. Let me explain. You see, I had plans to head to my hometown of Standish to visit my Grandmothers. I have one Grandma that lives in Omer and another that lives in Standish (Standish and Omer are approximately seven miles apart). Both are widows and both live alone. I enjoy spending time with them both and realize that I won't have them forever. That said, both can get under my skin if I am around them too much. I'm simply being honest, and it is just a part of life.

Well, things became a bit more interesting when the weather forecast called for rain on Sunday and freezing temperatures last night. You add in heavy snow melt and you are in for one heck of an ice issue. As it turns out, it didn't get nearly as cold as they predicted and most of the roads were merely wet, at least here in Bay City (Bay City is approximately 30 miles south of Standish; Omer is approximately seven miles northeast of Standish).

The thing is that all the schools in the Standish area announced Sunday evening that they would be closed today. They were preparing for the ice (they have already had six snow days this year). As it turns out, many of the country roads near Standish (there are many back roads that are not paved, not well-maintained, and a part of busing routes for the area) turned into skating rinks!

So where is this leading? Well, my Mom is a kindergarten teacher at Standish Elementary School. She had the day off. As my Grandma Reid (my Dad's Mom) and I already had plans to have lunch and then visit my 100 year-old Aunt Arlene, we invited her along.

Now before I go any further, you need to know what I discovered when I hopped into the car this morning. There was an inch of ice water on the floorboard of the front seat on the passenger side. How strange! The only logical way that it could get there was through the floor vent. Until yesterday (Sunday), there was several inches of snow on the front of my car. The ice and snow was above the vents on the front of my car on the outside. As it turns out, the seal that is supposed to prevent this may be broken. Well, it was quite the mess to clean up! Fortunately, there is nothing permanently wrong with my car. I disposed of the water the best I could and headed north.

My Mom, my Grandma Reid, and I had a nice lunch. My Grandma doesn't get around as well as she once did, and it took longer than my Mom and I would have liked. We then went to visit my Aunt Arlene. She is quite the character! She is my Grandpa Russell's older sister (My Grandpa Russell passed away several years ago, and neither my Mom nor I had the privilege of meeting him. He was my biological paternal Grandfather). In September, she turned 100. She currently takes no medication and her memory is still quite good.

The highlight of the visit was a photo album of old photos of my Russell ancestors. Aunt Arlene's grandson put it together for her, and I didn't even know most of those photos existed. What a treasure! The rest of the visit was rather boring, drawn out. With women in their 80s and 100s, you can imagine how the conversation became circular. It was all my Mom and I could do to keep from laughing and remain polite. After an hour or so of making an old woman very happy (Aunt Arlene continuously asks about my Mom and was looking forward to her visit), we left.

After driving from Omer to Standish once again, I stopped to visit with my Mom's Mom, my Grandma Buttrick. She is a character too, and this was one of the best visits yet. Who would think that a woman near 80 would like Stephen Colbert? I kid you not. She and I talked politics, I told her some of my old college stories, and we caught up on family gossip. She was in a great mood as my baby brother had visited her earlier and my Aunt Amy was just leaving as I got there. Somewhere along the line, it began to snow.

As I headed from Standish back to Bay City, it became a whiteout. It was hard to see on the expressway, and there were several people hauling trailers (mostly snowmobiles). Well, I happened to get behind a rig (SUV with a trailer) that was from out of state (I'm not sure from where). Evidently, they were from the South as they did not know how to drive in snow. The trailer started to sway and the driver did the exact wrong thing - hit the brakes. When you hit ice and start to slide, you do not want to hit the brakes. You take your foot off of the accelerator and drive out of the slide as best as you can. As a result of this person slamming on the brakes, I was forced to hit mine too. There was almost an accident, but fortunately, I know how to drive on snow and ice. Once I started to slide, I straightened out the wheel, made sure the passing lane was clear, and moved into the passing lane. Accident avoided. It was not fun driving home in a snow storm!

Fortunately, I made it home in one piece. My car is in one piece and dry. What a day!

Lindsey