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Ramblings of a Misguided Blonde

A fun, relaxing place to rant, rave, highlight interesting finds on the web, and initiate discussion on topics large and small. You may not agree, but you won't be bored! Take a look, feel free to comment, and enjoy your stay. You will also find several resources for creating your own website, blog, and web identity.

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Thursday, August 14, 2008

All About Austin

For whatever reason, Austin has been on my mind a lot lately. I look back on my six months in Austin, Texas (from June to December 2002) as one of the best times of my life, but it is important for me to remember (especially right now) that it didn't start out that way.

As strange as it sounds, things didn't start going right for me in Austin until after my car accident on July 24, 2002. The car accident, which occurred on my way to work, wasn't my fault (a large moving truck made a left hand turn in front of me while I had a green light) . I easily could have been severely injured or even could have died; instead, I broke my big toe from slamming on the brakes so hard. I also had bad bruises from the seat belt and a cut behind my ear (the molding of my car somehow struck me there). If I had had a passenger, he or she probably would have been severely injured or dead (all I could think of was my little brother, whom I used to cart around a lot).

After the emergency room visit and the visit from my Mom (she flew out to Texas to help me get a lawyer and a new car), I was banged up, but OK. Then, and only then, did the University of Texas college students who were my roommates inform me that my sublease was only for two months. I had to find another place to live. Quick. It didn't help that I still didn't know many people or that I had a walking cast (doctors were worried about the metatarsal, the larger bone in my foot).

In the end, the weekend before I had to move, I found the perfect roommate. I utilized the internal classifieds at Applied Materials and met Karen. Karen literally graduated from high school the year I was born, 1980. She is a single mom (her son was three at the time) who was feeling lots of financial pressure at the time, despite her good job at Applied Materials. She happened to have an extra room and bathroom. We hit it off right away. She never seemed that much older than me, and it was as if I lived with a fun aunt for four months. Better yet, it was only eight minutes from work.

Around the time I moved, my personal life got much, much better. During my initial training, I befriended a woman who used to work at Motorola. As we got to know each other during that week, she became determined to set me up with a former coworker of hers. The problem was that he had taken an extended vacation in Peru, and after I got to know him, I realized just how busy he was.

Well, it was through Melissa that I met Andy. I still had a walking cast on our "blind date," but I will never forget it. We went to a place call Flipnotics in a trendy part of Austin. On the bottom floor, there was a clothing store (closed at night), and above, there was coffee/traditional bar with a nice patio. I was incredibly embarrassed having to slowly walk up the stairs in my walking cast. I think that Andy felt bad about it. Flipnotics served as a small venue for local musicians, which is exactly why Andy and I were there. Ever the pragmatist, he not only was meeting me for a drink or two, he was checking out a new act for his community radio show - ATX Live. If I only had known the role that that show would play during my time in Austin.

That was the thing about Andy. He was and is an enigma. Professionally, he is an engineer, but his real passion was radio and music. He later became the president of Austin Community Radio - KOOP. It was through the co-op that he met Cheryl. Cheryl was a good friend of his who was incredibly fun. In fact, she became my best friend while we were there. She wanted Andy and I to get together (i.e. really date) badly, but it wasn't meant to be. Andy saw me as a kind of little sister (he is seven years older than me), and the three of us ended up having a lot of fun together.

That fall, Andy had laser eye surgery, and it didn't end up going well - at all. He was functionally blind for a week or longer. When he could finally truly see again, Cheryl and I decided to throw him a "dress to be seen" party (it happened to be close to his birthday too). I have so many outrageous pictures and memories from that party at his house. Cheryl, the eternal match-maker and optimist, made excuse upon excuse for me to head to Andy's house alone to help set up. I was spending the weekend with her in San Marcos, and she purposely didn't show up at Andy's until much later.

Well, it was strange being there alone with Andy getting things set up. It was homey, domestic, and felt all too natural. Not long before the party started, a bunch of his friends from work showed up (one happened to have graduated from Michigan State too). Anyway, everyone seemed to think that I was Andy's new girlfriend. At the time, it broke my heart that I wasn't. As I said earlier, I have many memories from that fall. That night during the party, Andy and I ended up dancing drunkenly around his kitchen. Andy, Cheryl, and I cemented our friendship that night.

Towards the end of the summer, the First Annual Austin City Limits Festival was held. I love to describe it as a techie Woodstock, and in many respects, it was. Not many people realize this, but Austin, Texas has a strong hippie contingent that never really grew up or left. I was treated to people older than my parents acting as though they still lived in the 1960s. You also had many, many young professionals in the technology industry (Samsung, Applied Materials, Motorola, and of course, Dell are all huge employers in Austin) in their 20s and 30s (people like Andy, Cheryl, and I) who loved music. Of course, Andy and Cheryl wanted to go in order to promote ATX Live too.

Well, Cheryl was at it again. She decided that she was only going to go one of the two days. I ended up spending the night in Andy's guest room and spending the last day of the festival with him - alone. It was funny. All it did was reinforce the idea that he looked upon me as a little sister. In fact, he insisted that I get a cowgirl hat so that I didn't get sunburned. As we sat on the grass waiting for the next performance (it might have been Shawn Colvin), we were treated to the lively conversations of young soldiers from Fort Hood. They were angry that they couldn't enjoy a cold beer, but it was very likely that they would serve in Iraq. Remember, this was during the summer of 2002. It was not long before those 18 - 20 year olds (not much younger than me at the time) were sent to Iraq. Every time I hear of someone from Fort Hood becoming a casualty or dying, I always think back to that summer before the war in Iraq.

Andy, Cheryl, and I went on to have a lot of fun that fall. I ended up going to a Halloween Party with Andy. It turns out that it was at the house of a friend of his, Chelle Murray. Like many in Austin, she is/was a musician. I ended up buying her CD. Her Midwestern roots showed through on the CD (she is from Ohio), and it quickly became my favorite. By the time Karen and I planned my going-away slash birthday slash Christmas party, I didn't want to go back to East Lansing. In theory, I had to go to complete my education. Yet, there was a very large part of me that wanted to STAY in Austin permanently.

As I drove away that foggy December morning, I cried listening to Chelle's CD. By the time I arrived home for Christmas, I was a different woman. I wasn't the same college kid who had left six months before. I was older, wiser, had had my heart broken, almost died, and for one of the first times in my life, had found my place. Things happened fast once I was back on campus at Michigan State, and before you know it, I was looking for a full-time job.

Naturally, I was drawn to Dell and Applied Materials. I was devastated when I didn't get those jobs after two rounds of interviews. I even got an opportunity to travel back to Austin on Applied Material's dime. Of course, I saw Andy, Cheryl, and Karen once again. When I found out that I didn't get the job, I felt as though my life was falling apart.

In the end, I started a relationship with Brian and ended up moving to Houston. While there were reasons for me living in Houston, it was a serious mistake. Houston will never be Austin. As much as I love Bay City and Michigan, Austin will always hold a very special place in my heart, as will Andy, Cheryl, and Karen. In my mind, Bay City has the potential to be another Austin (just smaller), but people would have to embrace progress, the arts, technology, and Saginaw Valley State University.

You may wonder why I've been going on and on about my experiences. It is relative to what is going on in my life right now as most of the great things that happened in Austin were born out of personal crises. It wouldn't take much for my life here in Bay City to completely change for the better; I just need to go after exactly what I want. Things have not been easy since Brian and I moved back to Michigan in 2005, but nothing worthwhile is ever easy.

Lindsey

PS - Prior to my relationship with Brian, I finally got up the nerve to tell Andy how I felt about him. He basically reconfirmed what I thought all along - that he looked at me as a little sister of sorts. He essentially told me that the age difference was too much, and that I'd understand someday. Well, he was right. Now that I'm pushing 30, I understand what he meant. It isn't the difference in age so much as it is stage of life. There are big differences between a 21 year old and a 28 year old.

Austin Calling

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Thursday, May 15, 2008

Where Do I Go From Here?

Long time readers know just how much I love the musical "Evita." For whatever reason, I can't stand the politics of the real Eva Peron, the Peronists, or any of their cronies in Latin America or Europe. Yet, I love the musical based on the story of her life. I have my own ideas as to why I'm drawn to the story of Eva Peron, as well as that of Frida Kahlo, but that is a separate post (hint: it deals with issues discussed in my "Extended Silence" posts). For those who don't know, "You Must Love Me" is a beautiful song in the movie version of "Evita" (I'll include the lyrics at the end of the post). The song asks where do we go from here?

So why even mention the song? Well, the lyrics have a lot of personal meaning for me right now. I'm certainly at a crossroads in my life (and have been the last three years). Yet, I finally feel as though I'm actually moving ahead for the first time since I moved back from Michigan. That said, I have several decisions to make. I just hope that I'm able to get through it and taste success once again. I've been feeling sorry for myself and dwelling on the past for far, far too long. I need to put it behind me.

You see, I've always had something else on the horizon my entire life. It just isn't there right this moment, but I'm beginning to realize that I have to make those opportunities for myself. I may not have the formal structure in place (i.e. school), but that doesn't mean that there aren't opportunities here (yes, even in mid-Michigan). There is so much negativity in this area right now, I have to move beyond it. Brian did long ago, and he's fine.

I apologize for all of the silence lately, but I'm trying to resolve these huge issues in my life once and for all. It is time to truly grow up. In many instances, I did long ago. I now can't hide myself away from the world as I have the last three years. The songs accurately reflect how I feel about my relationship with Brian right now.

You Must Love Me

lyrics by Tim Rice, music by Andrew Lloyd Webber
vocals by Madonna
-------------------------

Where do we go from here?
This isn't where we intended to be
We had it all, you believed in me
I believed in you

Certainties disappear
What do we do for our dream to survive?
How do we keep all our passions alive,
As we used to do?

Deep in my heart I'm concealing
Things that I'm longing to say
Scared to confess what I'm feeling
Frightened you'll slip away

You must love me
You must love me

Why are you at my side?
How can I be any use to you now?
Give me a chance and I'll let you see how
Nothing has changed

You must love me

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Saturday, April 19, 2008

Sarah Horowitz

I recently learned about Sarah Horowitz as a result of a blog called The Other McCain by Stacy McCain (you can read what he wrote regarding Sarah Horowitz, Turner Syndrome, and abortion here). It is one of the most compelling pieces I've come across regarding a specialized topic I'm passionate about, Turner Syndrome and abortion. It was this particular article that led me to one of the most moving eulogies I've ever read (please click on the link below).

Coincidentally, I've read some of David Horowitz's work over the last few months, but I was not aware that he lost his daughter Sarah recently (March) or that Sarah had Turner Syndrome. As you can gather from Stacy McCain's post, as well as David Horowitz's profoundly moving eulogy of his daughter, Sarah was a woman of uncommon strength and personal conviction, even if it put her at odds with her Father at times. The lessons outlined in both pieces are timeless and are needed now more than ever. I will be writing much more on Sarah Horowitz in the near future.

FrontPage Magazine - Remembering Sarah by David Horowitz

The Other McCain: 'The dignity of living'

Lindsey Russell

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Sunday, April 06, 2008

Living Life to the Fullest

I came across this article as I read the newspaper this evening. If my Mom happened to read it, I'm sure that she'd be calling me up to tell me that I need to read it. A lot of her advice can be found in the article (and my Dad's too; he's always known how to get what he wanted out of life). Anyway, it is a great read for anyone. I just need to take some of its lessons to heart, specifically asking for what you want. It is becoming clearer and clearer what I truly want. I need to get up the strength to simply ask. There are even a couple of different people and institutions I can ask. I really need to come up with a concise plan.

My Last Lecture | PARADE Magazine

Lindsey

UPDATE: After a little research, I found an interview with Professor Randy Pausch. You can read it here. This may make me a geek, but I love Reader's Digest due to interviews like this. Professor Paush's story makes me think of my Grandpa Russell's story. He died at 46 (colon cancer), leaving two kids. I never knew him. It also made me better understand what my Aunt and Uncle recently went through. After Christmas, their family went on a vacation to Florida. My Uncle, who is a professor (late 40s), had a seizure in a pool and almost died. They have three kids. He is very lucky to be here, and recently, my Aunt and Uncle went on a vacation alone. I can't imagine facing mortality at that age, knowing what I had to lose.

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Living Life to the Fullest

I came across this article as I read the newspaper this evening. If my Mom happened to read it, I'm sure that she'd be calling me up to tell me that I need to read it. A lot of her advice can be found in the article (and my Dad's too; he's always known how to get what he wanted out of life). Anyway, it is a great read for anyone. I just need to take some of its lessons to heart, specifically asking for what you want. It is becoming clearer and clearer what I truly want. I need to get up the strength to simply ask. There are even a couple of different people and institutions I can ask. I really need to come up with a concise plan.

My Last Lecture | PARADE Magazine

Lindsey

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Sunday, March 16, 2008

Si Se Puede

For those unfamiliar with the Spanish phrase "Si Se Puede," it translates roughly to "Yes We Can" in English. I've been going through a lot of turmoil in my life lately, as those who know me can attest, but this simple phrase inspires me. My Mom, who knows more about life than most women in their early 50s (her own Mom, my Grandma Buttrick, even stated that she couldn't believe how much insight my Mom has into life), recently reminded me of how much I've overcome in my life. It was a timely reminder and serves as inspiration.

On another note, those who regularly read my blog may get the impression that I agree with every tenant of the conservative cause. In many cases, that couldn't be further from the truth. You may be asking yourself "What does this have to with the phrase 'Si Se Puede'"? It has everything to do with that phrase. Personally, there are few more divisive political topics than illegal immigration. On one hand, I am the great-granddaughter of legal immigrants from the Ukraine. My Grandma Reid (Russell) is the daughter of immigrants who farmed in Standish, Michigan for most of their adult lives. They became naturalized citizens in 1945 (incidentally, they were naturalized in my current hometown, Bay City).

We have a long, proud tradition of immigration in the United States. We are all products of immigration in one form or another. That said, I don't see a workable solution to the issue of illegal Mexican immigration. I studied Latin American culture, the Spanish language, and business extensively throughout my college education; as a result, I traveled extensively in Mexico, Ecuador, Spain, and the Caribbean. Mexico is my first love as it was a trip to Cancun, Mexico as a child (just before it exploded into a veritable extension of the United States) that inspired me to study Spanish all throughout the rest of my formal education (junior high, high school, and then college).

I sympathize with the Mexican culture, I understand the culture better than most people who have no Hispanic heritage, and I understand the economic circumstances that led to the illegal immigration issue (Mexican and otherwise). It pains me to hear arguments on the side of greater enforcement of Federal laws that are already on the books that smack of isolationism and racism. There are some very valid reasons to address the illegal immigration issue immediately; however, they have nothing at all to do with racism and isolationism. In my opinion, enforcing the laws already there is the first logical step to resolving the illegal immigration issue fairly and equitably.

It hurts me to hear Mexico portrayed as a cesspool when there are beautiful aspects to Mexican culture and land. The Yucatan peninsula alone is worthy of praise. Mexico may have its share of issues, but they can and should be addressed without throwing out all that is good about Mexican culture.

Once again you may be asking "Why include this political statement in a post about the phrase 'Si Se Puede?'' It is time to address it directly. That particular phrase has been adopted by those who are supporting illegal immigration. Those seeking a solution to the illegal immigration problem deride it as an example of how Mexican immigrants won't assimilate into the culture of the United States as immigrants have in the past. Both are incorrect. It should be reserved for use as a phrase of hope - nothing more, nothing less.

During my semester in Quito, Ecuador in 2001, the Ecuadorean soccer team (futbol for those who know Spanish) went to the World Cup playoff series for the first time. It was the first time I had ever heard the phrase "Si Se Puede." In that phrase, you could almost feel the pride Ecuadoreans had in their soccer team. For the first time, they were in the international soccer spotlight. They may have lost in the first round, but that wasn't the point. It brought hope to a nation struggling to come together. Both sides of the illegal immigration debate need to come together to come up with a realistic, fair plan that protects the sovereignty of both the United States and Mexico.

Lindsey

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Friday, March 07, 2008

Too Cool for Words!

I was recently introduced to this website, and I can't say enough good things about it. In some ways, it was made for people who think like me. I'm always associating songs with memories. Music has been a big part of my life, even though I don't sing or play an instrument (I actually have no musical talent whatsoever). Anyway, I wanted to share this with everyone now that I have a few pieces listed on there. I'd love to receive some feedback.

Thanks in advance!

Lindsey

JamsBio.com - russelllindsey

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