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Ramblings of a Misguided Blonde

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Monday, December 19, 2005

What's In A Name? Lindsey... Accurate?


The name of Lindsey creates an overly-sensitive nature which causes you to sense and feel far more than you can understand or put into words. You have a deep, artistic, and creative side which shows through a love for music and literature. Writing is a more natural mode of expression for your deeper thoughts and feelings than the spoken word. You have an ability to concentrate and work intently on anything which holds your interest. However, you prefer to avoid routine, monotony, and mental tasks. You enjoy the out-of-doors and find your greatest peace and relaxation from the beauty and harmony of nature. You prefer to limit your friendships and associations to those who share your interests and appreciate your quiet, refined ways. Others often find it difficult to understand you. Your feelings tend to build up within you and, if you cannot release them through a creative, constructive channel, you could suffer with frustration, moods, and much inner turmoil. This name causes tension in the region of the solar plexus, as well as the heart and lungs. Health problems would centre in those areas of the body."

The Knight Shift

Check out this guys Top 10 Worst Christmas songs...

It includes both by Paul and John... Not sure if I agree or not.
The most popular Christmas songs by the Beatles, though done as solo efforts, aren't exactly their best material.

At the same time, there are WAY worse Christmas songs that could have taken their place.


The Knight Shift

Houston - One of the Newest Members of the Russell Family

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Houston is my sister Erica's new golden retriver... My Dad gave my sister and brother golden retrivers for Christmas. Pictures of my brother's little girl Sunny are coming... She is quite a bit younger and smaller than Houston, but every bit as fiesty, if not more.

More on Houston and Sunny later...


Notes from the Road - Travels in City and Country

A wonderful website that I discovered via the Yahoo! Daily Wire e-mail. After months of not receiving anything, I've finally straightened everything out...

There will be many more to come... I know, I need to start blog rolling.

More later.


Notes from the Road

Sunday, December 18, 2005

25.... And Conflicted!

Well, I turned 25 today... And I am a bit confused as to how I feel.

On one hand, I feel as though I have the world by the ass and my whole life ahead of me.
I can accomplish anything I put my mind too! Deep down, I know that this is true.

On the other hand, I feel old in this youth oriented culture of ours. It sucks that my career hasn't taken off yet when many of my former classmates are solidly working on theirs now.

No matter how you look at it, I had a wonderful birthday with my family and Brian.
I have no doubt that their are good things to come in 2006!


Saturday, December 17, 2005

UPDATE - Craziness Before Christmas

Once again, I apoligize for not posting for a considerable amount of time.
My family has had somewhat of an emergency and things are just getting back to normal.
Once everything truly calms down and nerves are no longer raw, I will sit down and write everything.

Thank you for your patience and understanding.


Sunday, December 04, 2005

The Hornblower

The following is the latest and greatest post in my other Blog "Writings of a Misguided Blonde." I seem to be cross-pollinating tonight! What fun! Please enjoy all of my rambling writings...

Just amazing... The blog of an extremely accomplished 91 year-old man... It makes me dream of what I can acheive in the next 66/67 years. All I know is that I continuely need to learn new things, acquire new skills and interests.

As always, more later!


The Hornblower


One of the most truthful blog I have ever come across... One great experiment in people's inner most thoughts...

Quite intriguing, but then again, aren't they all???



Saturday, December 03, 2005

Bible, Ecclesiastes 3:1-14

Bible, Ecclesiastes 3

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

What profit hath he that worketh in that wherein he laboureth?

I have seen the travail, which God hath given to the sons of men to be exercised in it.

He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end.

I know that there is no good in them, but for a man to rejoice, and to do good in his life.

And also that every man should eat and drink, and enjoy the good of all his labour, it is the gift of God.

I know that, whatsoever God doeth, it shall be for ever: nothing can be put to it, nor any thing taken from it: and God doeth it, that men should fear before him.

That which hath been is now; and that which is to be hath already been; and God requireth that which is past.

I know it may seem strange, but I just thought that I would include my favorite Bible verse... I meant to include it the other day.

More later.


Book of Secrets

Sad... I began reading this woman's blog and realized that I feel old at the ripe old age of 24... It just seems to go against the natural order of things. I realize that I have been taking far too long in trying to find out exactly what it is that I would like to do with my life. Hell, I practically have almost all of it ahead of me. I just read today that the fastest growing segment of the US population are centrigenerians. With my luck, I will live to be 100 or beyond. What do you do for fun when you are 99? An interesting dilemma.

Anyway, maybe Houston didn't work out for a reason. Maybe God wanted me to take a step back, smell the roses, and then figure exactly what it is that I was put on this earth to do. Sound like a plan? Strange... It seems almost impossible that I have been at it close to 7 months already.

I really need a job, any job! I suppose it will all come in time.

Just wanted to jot down yet another blog that made me stop and think about my life. I have been doing too much thinking lately.

More later...


Book of Secrets

A River of Hatred Runs Through It

This is positively the creepiest thing I have ever seen in my entire life... What would the pacifists have to say now?
How can people say that the wars in Afghanistan and in Iraq are unnecessary? How else can we defend ourselves as a nation BEFORE the terrorists bring the war here?

It angers me beyond belief that people call the Iraq war unjust... Don't people think that the terrorists and Saddam's murderous regime had a common enemy - US? Why WOULDN'T Saddam open his country to OTHER terrorists? He terrorized his OWN people...


A River of Hatred Runs Through It

Paul and Linda McCartney/My Life in Austin

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I know this may seem really cliche, but I have always admired the relationship that Paul and Linda McCartney had. How many other celebrity couples managed to stay married for 30 years and raise 4 reasonably normal children?

I came across this item several years ago and thought that it hit the nail right on the head.

In the end, when the statistics of their love affair were
tallied, this amazing detail emerged: Paul and Linda McCartney
spent nearly every night together.
In thirty years they were apart only one day. Otherwise,
Linda traveled with the Beatles and Paul's other bands. He
joined her on tours to promote her photography and cookbooks.
At home or away, they slept beneath the same roof, mingling
breath and sweat and memory.
A few nights before I learned that Linda McCartney had
died, I sat in a strange city, sharing dinner with two dozen
other journalists.
Most of us had flown solo to the conference, leaving family
at home.
At dinner, we made mostly small talk, the best strangers
can do. I felt artificial, not at all myself, onstage.
But the man beside me seemed real. As we talked, he
glanced often toward his wife, who sat across the table and down
a ways, engaged in her own conversation.
In his youth, he told me, he hopscotched the world, hungry
for adventure, covering war and cataclysm. Two marriages
failed. He settled down and married again - then spent last
year in South Africa.
His wife couldn't be with him except for brief visits. She
has a thriving career here.
Now, on the brink of sixty, he'd love to return to South
Africa. But a new sensation holds him back.
He told me: "I want to be with her. I want to be with her
every night."
I gulped and nodded and said, "Life is short."
Funny: When you're young, you say "Life is short" to
justify your excursions, geographic or emotional. When you're
older, you say the same thing to justify staying home with the
one you love.
That kind of relationship sounds stifling to some people.
They want space. They fear being engulfed or getting lost in
some rigid twosome.
Early in my marriage, I felt that way. Our work often
separated us. He flew off. I flew off. It felt invigorating,
and when it wasn't lonely, it seemed healthy. We even came up
with a good metaphor: We traveled through life in different
boats that moored, whenever they could, in the same harbor.
Now, we want nothing more than to tie our little dinghies
to the same buoy, to rock gently together through each night.
Our friends report the same change of heart.
What happened?
For one thing, you realize that sharing a day's details by
phone is never as good as sharing a day. Side by side, life
happens to you simultaneously. You carry the same memories,
whose details blend each time you retell them.
Apart, you make separate memories. No matter how
important, they're just stories to the one who wasn't there.
Plus, when you look back, you count too many weeks and
months squandered in foolish places for insignificant reasons.
And when you look ahead, you don't have to squint anymore to see
that the end is nigh, more nigh all the time.
In middle age, you sometimes feel you have only days left
to live.
When I was a child, my friends and I played a little game
pretending that a nuclear bomb was headed our way. We had ten
minutes to live. What would we do? Where would we go? Whose
hand would we want to be holding when the end came?
Paul and Linda McCartney figured this out early, then hung
on for thirty years. In the music, the laughter and the good
times, I suspect they forgot they would ever have to let go.

by Susan Ager
Reprinted by permission of Susan Ager (c) 1998, from Chicken
Soup for the Couple's Soul by Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen,
Mark & Chrissy Donnelly and Barbara De Angelis.
Strange, strange side note: My former roommate in Austin, Texas - Karen - was a dead ringer for Linda... Oddly enough, she loves the Beatles just as much as I do.

God do I miss those carefree days in Austin with Karen, Cheryl, Melissa, Zane, and Andy...
Flipnotics, ACL Fest (Modern woodstock for Techie, Yuppie types), Shady Grove (delicious Hippy Chick sandwiches and strawberry daqauris!), crazy parties with Andy and Cheryl, Tower Records downtown, UT and students, the accident, moving, etc., etc.

Somedays I feel as though I would do anything to have the opportunity to relive that time in my life - AND STAY. Others, I am very much content with the direction in which my life is going.

Hmmm... I really need to call my sis Cheryl.


Friday, December 02, 2005

Today in a Nutshell

Well, I must admit that things appear to have become more clear overnight. As Brian pointed out in his normal matter-of-fact way, writing has always helped me think more clearly. Such insight into my life, my way of dealing with the inevitable, is why I love Brian so much, and why I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I have yet to meet any other man who is half as intuitive as Brian.

Anyway, I headed to Standish this morning to help my grandma as part of her Christmas gift. She loved having my help and I was happy to spend time with her and grandpa. I know that I won't have them forever. In grandpa's case, it is a miracle that he is here, much less going to the office when he feels up to it. Unfortunately, today was not one of his best days. He spent most of it sleeping. My mom is afraid that we aren't going to have him much longer, and I share that fear. I just hope that we are wrong.

Well, after 5 or so hours helping my grandma fix lunch, box and wrap presents, and make trips to the basement, I headed home. Brian and I then went out shopping and investigated exactly why Wilder Road (a main road in Bay City) was closed. A train simply became stuck on the tracks going across Wilder Road. I know, my life is incredibly boring, right? I just have a feeling that it is going to get better soon... It must. Being unemployed is driving me crazy! LOL

I am just glad that I feel 100% better about my life after talking with Brian last night and grandma today. Oddly, she really understands my situation, even better than my mom. My aunts don't give her enough credit; I admit, she is strange, but I still love her a lot!

More later...


A Few New Pics of Sparty, the Tree, and His Favorite Chair...

Brian was fooling around with the camera again and caught Sparty being the lazy little cat that he is. Can you believe someone just dropped him off?

Not only has he taken to sleeping under the Christmas tree and on his favorite chair, he loves our enclosed porch. While it is enclosed, this is Michigan in December after all and it is almost as cold as being outside. In addition, he loves snow too. As a result of this unnatural love of cold and snow by a cat from Texas, Brian and I now call him Snow Shoe...

As corny as it sounds, I can't imagine not having him around (the cat - and of course, Brian)...

More later...


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PS - I realize that I have not lived up to my promise of posting pictures from Thanksgiving. In all honesty, I didn't take any this year due to all of the commotion (see previous posts). There will be plenty come Christmas! I promise!
I should get some great shots of my siblings goldens... Houston is amazing...

The Death of John Lennon 25 Years Later

I am not sure if I have mentioned it much thus far, but I, like much of the rest of the world, am a huge Beatles fan. In fact, it is so cliche that I am almost embarrassed to admit it. Anyway, I bought the special edition Life did on John Lennon's life to commerate the 25th anniversary of his death.

He died 10 days before I was born, and I have always found it strange that I am so in love with a band whose "lead singer" died before I was even born.

Heck, they even ceased to be a band more than 10 years before I was even born. Anyway, in my opinion, the Beatles have always seemed to be a little like breathing... the most natural thing in the world. I can't remember a time when I did not know their songs (thanks to my Mom, who probably listened to them a lot in the week before I was born), even if I distinctly remember asking my parents who the Beatles were when I was 8 years old.

Funny, they were having an argument regarding the Beatles... My mom has always loved them and I have always felt that my dad was just a tad bit jealous in a strange way. In fact, my dad is one of the few people I knew who really doesn't at least like the Beatles music.

Enough for now... I know this is incredibly boring stuff, but I have always felt that I am certainly not alone with regards to my thoughts on and my love for the Beatles. I have to admit, Paul is my favorite - although John is an extremely close second.


The Death of John Lennon in the Media

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Things that happened

All I can say is that this is an entertaining look into the life of a Yupper... I guess I am going to need some insight if Erica and Justin are serious...


Things that happened

Thursday, December 01, 2005

A Confession... Or Should I Say Several?

Where do I even begin? I feel as though my entire world has come crashing down around me lately. First off, on Thanksgiving morning, Brian's mother called me both on my land line and my cell. While she wasn't hysterical, I could tell by her voice that she needed answers.

Here it goes: Brian has been unjustly accused of voyuerism by our mysterious neighbors (more later). Anyway, it almost destroyed our relationship. Well, on Thanksgiving morning, there was an article in the Bay City Times regarding the unproven allegations. Luckily, Brian's name wasn't mentioned. Brian later called the officer he dealt with on the night of this whole fiasco only to learn that anyone writing such an article should have cleared it through him first - but didn't.

As a result of this poorly written and researched article slandering my fiance, his father is no longer speaking to him. The police have had his computer and my digital camera cards for nearly a month. If they had any evidence, wouldn't you think that they would have been a little more proactive?

Well, as you can imagine, Thanksgiving Day didn't start out well. My mother called shortly after Cindy (Brian's mom) hung up. By the time I was talking to my mom, I was just about ready to break off my relationship with Brian - in fact, I told my mother that I had. I naively thought that the article written in the Bay City Times meant that the police actually had evidence against Brian.

While I know that my trust in Brian should be stronger than that, not to mention a history of six years of friendship, too many strange things have happened in my life. Unfortunately, I find myself having to grasp ideas that I once thought inconceivable.

Thanksgiving morning brought a huge wind and snow storm to mid-Michigan, making my trip to my grandmother's house a treacherous one. By the time I arrived, I had calmed down. Fortunately, no one in my family would have ever guessed that the article was regarding Brian.

Even though I hadn't planned on it, I ended up spending two nights at my parents' house, even though I live only 45 minutes away. What an eye opener! Friday morning, instead of going to my little brother's basketball scrimmage, I stayed home and helped my mother decorate for Christmas. We ended up having a real heart to heart talk.

I learned that she is afraid that my father is bi-polar, that my father has spent all of their savings, that she is refusing to co-sign a loan with him, and that she can't bear to see him like this again. In other words, she wants out of her marriage of 28 years. Sadly, I don't blame her one bit. While I love my father, I can't stand him and the pain he has caused me and my family.

I don't want to see him this way. He has no consideration for anyone but himself.

For example, he purchased golden retriever puppies for my sister and brother as a Christmas gift. In reality, they are a gift for himself. My sister has the male and my brother has the female. Quite simply, my dad wants to breed bird hunting dogs. In addition, my sister brought her puppy home for Thanksgiving and it was allowed to stay in the house. My poor mom, who has tons of allergies, was absolutely miserable. This wouldn't have been horrible if it had just been for the long weekend, but my dad is insisting that my brother's dog be an inside dog.

My mom seems to have no say in the situation, which really irritates me.

In addition, my dad was completely contradicting himself on Thanksgiving Day. He told me "You know you can do anything once you set your mind to do it." I agree with this statement whole heartedly and would have taken it as a complement under different circumstances; I grew up believing that my parents had faith in most of what I did. However, the week before I had an incredibly painful conversation with him in which he stated that I could never handle taking over the family business - Russell Canoe Livery.

Right now, I feel as though no one has faith in me except Brian - not even my family. In addition to all of this, I have an older cousin Emily who holds the exact same degree from the same university and who had an equivalent amount of experience when she and her fiance (now husband) returned from Texas. Instead of being unemployed for months, she was given a job at Forward Corporation - the company that our grandfather built - by her father, who is now President. She has held quite a range of positions there already and believes that she is going to take over the company when her father retires. There appears to be no room for me whatsoever, not even as a manager of a convenience store. According to my mom, a couple of my aunts are extremely angry.

The problem is that everything gets swept under the rug in my mom's family. No one will say anything. Emily will probably take over the company and eventually only their family will have any tie to the company, even though there are four other sisters and they all have families.

While I certainly don't want to run Forwards someday and in most cases I wouldn't be opposed to any of my cousins running the company, I am deeply unsettled by the following.

1. If Emily does take over the business, it will be run into the ground. Emily does not have the business sense and compassion necessary to run it. Both my grandpa and Uncle Terry certainly do. Emily is simply obsessed with money and power.

2. I am deeply hurt that no one even suggested that I take even a menial job at Forwards. It leads me to believe that they have no faith in me. On the other hand, it may be possible that they are concerned that I would want to run it someday - I definitely do not.

3. It is awful that my mother and aunts will have no connection to the company after my grandparents die. I know what my grandpa gave up in order to build that business. His daughters should continue to have some say.

Anyway, all of this really has been on my mind. I continuely wonder what I am going to say at the family dinner party in a couple of weeks. My mom even stated that she would understand if I did not want to go. I really don't know what to do.

How am I going to get through all of this? My grandma always told me that "God doesn't give us more than we can handle" and I even believe it to be true. It just is overwhelming right now.

I honestly don't know what I would do without Brian. He has really been helping me through all of this, and to think I almost gave up on this relationship due to something so stupid!

More later.


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